In the 1990s, all of America was treated to "a show about nothing," and it was an instant classic.
I thought about Seinfeld when reading all the diaries about who Barack Obama absolutely cannot pick. Apparently, every single possible VP is no good.
And then it hit me.
Obama - NOBODY 2008
To paraphrase George Costanza, everybody's always picked somebody for Vice President. Barack Obama should pick nobody. Literally, nobody.
It's just crazy enough to work, too!
I mean, think about this. How in the living hell does John McCain's campaign run a smear campaign against thin air? They'll be completely befuddled! God, the hair pulling over at their opposition research department alone would be worth it all. All those kids furiously Googling "nobody" looking for past quotes, gaffes, etc. Beautiful.
And the debate! OK, so let's say McCain picks Pawlenty. Can you imagine?
GWEN IFILL: Governor Pawlenty, your running mate, John McCain once declared that it would be ok with him if the US spent the next 100 years in Iraq. Do you agree with that?
GOV. PAWLENTY: Blah blah blah Iraq blah blah terror blah blah 9/11 blah blah...
IFILL: Uh, Nobody, your response?
Pawlenty stands awkwardly during the 30 second rebuttal of silence. He tries... tries... tries not to yawn and look bored, but it's a long 30 seconds!! He cracks! Pawlenty looks at his watch and yawns! Out of touch!
Delicious, no?
And imagine when McCain goes to attack Obama for selecting Nobody. Obama can mock him mercilessly - "John McCain... well, he's so angry, the other day he was going nuts, yelling at nobody! We can't afford a President who gets out there and starts yelling about nobody!"
Best of all, it's a pick that can offend no one! Everybody loves Nobody! (Note to self, copyright that phrase for Nobody's 2016 run for the White House)
So there you have it. All aboard the only winning ticket possible!
OBAMA-NOBODY 2008!